Sma' Talk Wi' T

Current world events, politics, news, history, culture, trivia, religion, and the quirky

Archive for April 2008

Back To Our Future

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Yeah, it’s me again, your faithful servant, here to elucidate my faithful readers as to what you should be thinking about the current events that inundate our senses as the 3rd rock spins madly through time and space.

As I sit in my Fortress of Fortitude here on the Ilse of Lucy contemplating the Yin and Yan of this , that, and the other, I am at once overwhelmed by the fact that Americans are wringing hands and gnashing teeth over the price of gasoline and yet underwhelmed at the lack of understanding shown by the same said people at the ramifications of our gluttonous use of oil. The US leads the world in fossil fuel consumption. With only 5% of the world’s population we use 25% of the fuels. While it is true that India and China are rapidly closing the usage gap with us, we have little or no control and leverage in that matter.

While the debate over ethanol’s cost effectiveness keeps the talking heads busy wagging their tongues and pointing their collective fingers, the fact that ethanol production literally takes food out of the mouths of the hungry is undeniable.

You may ask yourself “Oh Wazoo, what can we do about this? Can you show us a way to lower our gas expenditures without time consuming Government involvement? Can there be a way to use less ethanol and thereby increase the food available for those who have not?” Yes my children, there is such a two edged sword of economic feasibility and human compassion. TAKE YOUR FOOT OFF THE DAMN GAS PEDAL! A National speed limit of 55 mph is a minimal hardship in comparison to a continued economic slowdown and certainly pales in comparison to world wide hunger. It’s time for America to take the lead ,( as it has always done), and show why we are the greatest country in the world.


Written by smalltalkwitht

April 28, 2008 at 10:59 am

Update: Jacquie Lawson Cards

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Good news. We’ve heard a response from Jameson with Jacquie Lawson’s regarding their new Teddy Bear card. To view the newer version of the Teddy Card.

Dear ,

Thank you for your message.

Thank you for your email about the Teddy and the Seagulls card. I’m really sorry that you saw this negatively – it was certainly not meant to be so. We put the American flag in there just as a sort of joke to show that poor Teddy had been blown so far off course that he was in US waters! It was never our intention to show that Teddy was being ignored by the big ships, but just that his little rowing boat was too small to be seen!

But thank you for warning us about this, and just in case others misunderstand our intentions in the same way, I’ll ask the artists to change the flag to another one.

However, if you would still like to receive a prorated refund for your membership fee, please respond to this e-mail indicating us to do so.

Best wishes,


They have indeed changed the American flag to a nondescript nautical flag. Thank you very much, Jacquie Lawson. I will be keeping my card account that I do enjoy sending out.

Check out Jacquie Lawson’s site. It’s a great one!

One of the email card purchases that I have used over the years has been English artist’s Jacquie Lawson’s website. It’s not a free site. And you would think that a card website would be apolitical when taking money from Americans, but I’ve cancelled my account due to the most recent card addition. It’s a Teddy Bear sail boat adventure that has Teddy floating out to sea and needing help. Good ol’ Jacquie has an American boat flying the Stars and Stripes completely passing Teddy without helping.

Being a British website, and Jacquie being English, shouldn’t that be an Union Jack flag on a boat in English waters? Why an American flag?

The only reason I can think of is another liberal’s sentimental way to slam democratic America for being the land of the free and the home of the brave.

Written by smalltalkwitht

April 27, 2008 at 7:46 pm

Last Hangout of Witches Updating Image

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Trying to update their image, a British school wants to stop using a broom-riding witch as their school symbol. The local villagers are not too pleased though with the idea of their history being eradicated.

Warboys is the last recorded place in England where witches were hanged.

Alice Samuels, in her late 70s, her husband John and her daughter Agnes were executed in 1593 after being accused by a 10-year-old girl, her four sisters and servants of causing them to have fits.

Written by smalltalkwitht

April 27, 2008 at 6:25 pm

Everything Free? Sure I Want That!

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When you offer free prescriptions and free hospital car parking, heck, who wouldn’t want to change countries?

An English village is so taken with the benefits of being Welsh, including free prescriptions and free hospital car parking, that it is holding a referendum on becoming part of Wales.

Residents of Audlem, Cheshire, nine miles from the Welsh border, have organised an online poll asking villagers whether it is time to break away from England.

Short of the biggest constitutional shake-up since the 1284 Statute of Rhuddlan made Monmouthshire part of Wales, the village is unlikely to come under the control of the Welsh Assembly any time soon.

The more socialistic a country is, the more people demand to have a part of it without the responsibilities.

Written by smalltalkwitht

April 27, 2008 at 6:18 pm

Florida Politician Worries About Truck Nuts

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Second generation Lake County politician Carey Baker (FL – R) has a lot on his mind lately with all of the important decisions that the Florida House of Representatives has to weigh in on but he’s got a mission. Banning bull testicle truck accessories from the back of trucks.

With the massive layoff of teachers and government services, due to Governor Crist’s policies, along with escalating property taxes, the GOP Representative finds bull testicles hanging down from redneck trucks offensive and is campaigning to ban them.

Yep you heard it, no bull.

Written by smalltalkwitht

April 27, 2008 at 5:53 pm

Superstitious Display Doesn’t Allow For Resting In Peace

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St. Padre Pio, recently canonized 20th century saint, has been put on display as cult-like worshippers pass by. Masquerading as a non-decomposing corpse, a wax mask has been placed over Padre Pio’s face to protect the more sensitive viewers from a non-disclosed vitiation.

A team of biochemists and other experts has worked since the exhumation to get the body into a fit state to be shown. Padre Pio’s face was covered with a lifelike silicone mask of the type used in wax museums.

This prompted a circle of Padre Pio devotees to ask last night for an autopsy to establish that the remains were authentic. Forensic scientists who took part in the exhumation and attended yesterday’s conference denied his face was badly decomposed. They said it had been decided to use the mask to protect the sensibilities of those who visited the crypt where the body is to go on show.

The Church should promote a healthier attitude of death and an eternal unseen soul than the macabre voyeurism of an improbable incorruptible mortal body.

Padre Pio’s Body Exhumed.

Incorruptible Saints.

15th St. Catherine of Bologna’s supposedly incorruptible body looks like an Egyptian mummy.

Written by smalltalkwitht

April 27, 2008 at 5:19 pm

Snow Job

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First Glenn Beck crosses over to the Dark Side, now Tony Snow? Snow, still battling cancer, and recently quitting the White House post as spokesperson, has now joined CNN.

Past Tony Snow posts:

Bush Has Lost Touch With Republican Voters

Written by smalltalkwitht

April 21, 2008 at 9:39 pm