Sma' Talk Wi' T

Current world events, politics, news, history, culture, trivia, religion, and the quirky

Archive for March 2008

Anti-Americans Show Characteristic Unsportsmanlike Hatred

with one comment

UPDATE: President Bush and Nationals win 3 -2.

On the opening day of the National League baseball season, President Bush attended and threw out the first pitch at the new between the Nationals and the Braves. Bobby Cox, Atlanta Braves manager was excited to play in the new stadium and that President Bush was going to be there.

Bobby Cox has seen the President throw out the first pitch on Opening Day before.

Nearly 40 years later, the Atlanta Braves manager is looking forward to being part of the spectacle again.

President George W. Bush is scheduled make the ceremonial toss on Sunday night as the Braves help Washington debut its new Nationals Park. In 1969, Cox was a member of the New York Yankees when President Richard M. Nixon did the first-pitch honors for the old Washington Senators.

“It’ll be exciting,” Cox said on Saturday, looking back as well as ahead. “I can still remember Nixon. This time, we’ll have the President, plus a new stadium. I’m really looking forward to seeing that ballpark.”

How incredibly boorish of the liberals in the stadium to boo when President Bush walked out.

Top of the second inning, Washington Nationals are leading 2 to 0.

President Bush was very enjoyable and conversational in the ESPN broadcasting booth chatting away about the ballpark, about the new stadium, and being a Texas Rangers fan. I can see the liberal loonies frothing at the mouth over his happy go-lucky manner, having images of Nero fiddling while Rome burned. What a world they live in.

Advertisements

Recession? Career Professions To Avoid

with one comment

Take a look at the job market for 2009. Make note of any of the following professions to stay away from.

They can add mortgage brokers, bankers, hedge fund operators. Thank goodness I work for myself.

Gracias Les for the muy bueno laugh.

Written by smalltalkwitht

March 27, 2008 at 5:12 pm

Lies Lies Everywhere Are Lies

leave a comment »

Dick Morris, ex-confidant, advisor to the Clintons gives us background and facts on the lies that the pathological Hillary is trying to distort and elevate as her political career.

  • Chelsea was jogging around the Trade Center on Sept. 11, 2001. (She was in bed watching it on TV.)
  • Hillary was named after Sir Edmund Hillary. (She admitted she was wrong. He climbed Mt. Everest five years after her birth.)
  • She was under sniper fire in Bosnia. (A girl presented her with flowers at the foot of the ramp.)
  • She learned in The Wall Street Journal how to make a killing in the futures market. (It didn’t cover the market back then.)

Whoppers She Won’t Confess To

  • She didn’t know about the FALN pardons.
  • She didn’t know that her brothers were being paid to get pardons that Clinton granted.
  • Taking the White House gifts was a clerical error.
  • She didn’t know that her staff would fire the travel office staff after she told them to do so.
  • She didn’t know that the Peter Paul fundraiser in Hollywood in 2000 cost $700,000 more than she reported it had.
  • She opposed NAFTA at the time.
  • She was instrumental in the Irish peace process.
  • She urged Bill to intervene in Rwanda.
  • She played a role in the ’90s economic recovery.
  • The billing records showed up on their own.
  • She thought Bill was innocent when the Monica scandal broke.
  • She was always a Yankees fan.
  • She had nothing to do with the New Square Hasidic pardons (after they voted for her 1,400-12 and she attended a meeting at the White House about the pardons).
  • She negotiated for the release of refugees in Macedonia (who were released the day before she got there).

Written by smalltalkwitht

March 26, 2008 at 8:48 pm

Voting For Obama Not With Her Vagina

with 2 comments

Who says feminazis aren’t classy? How disgusting that a woman thinks that voting for any woman is a sign of weakness? Are vaginas weak, I dont’ know… I’ve never thought of it.

I wonder how many aborted babies from Democratic social programs would agree with Marianne Williamson, spiritual New Age and Hollywood femme guru of the last twenty years.

Come to think of it? How many intelligent men would say “I’m not voting with my penis – I’m voting for Hillary.” In this the 21st century, when hopefully you think the human race has come so far – we have ignorant women voting or not voting with their vaginas, blacks dealing with their racism and pseudo-victimization, and politicians being politicians.

Can’t wait to hear Rush’s perspective on this tomorrow.

Written by smalltalkwitht

March 20, 2008 at 12:09 am

Nothing Good Will Come Of It!

with 3 comments

‘A man who is not afraid of the sea

will soon be drownded,’ he said,

‘for he will be going out on a day he shouldn’t.

But we do be afraid of the sea

and we only do be drownded now and again.’
John Millington Synge ~ The Aran Islands

Lá Fhéile Pádraig! Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Don’t you remember the television leprechauns on cereal boxes and Star Trek shows that can be magically delicious, jumping up and clicking their heels with mirth and glee but did you know that leprechauns and the bean sidhe (pronounced banshee) are not the best company to keep? The Irish known for their dour, dark ways, their empassioned songs and dire dirths, singing their nights away around a peat fire out among the sheep, or in a warm pub, but did you know they are good fun to be around?
My better half (who teaches medieval literature) gave me the following sage Irish advice to read and I couldn’t stop laughing at the truth in the reasoning of Celtic ballads. I thought what better way to celebrate St. Paddy’s Day than to give you “Making Light’s” Jim MacDonald’s cautionary advice on things in Celtic ballads that have helped him through life. Just remember: Nothing good will come of it.
  • Don’t ignore warnings. If someone tells you to beware of Long Lankin, friggin’ beware of him. If someone tells you not to go by Carterhaugh, stay away. Same goes for your mother asking you not to go out hunting on a particular day. Portents about weather, particularly when delivered by an old sailor who is not currently chatting up a country maid, are always worth heeding.
  • If someone says that he’s planning to kill you, believe him.
  • If someone says he’s going to die, believe him.
  • Avoid navigable waterways. Don’t let yourself be talked into going down by the wild rippling water, the wan water, the salt sea shore, the strand, the lowlands low, the Burning Thames, and any area where the grass grows green on the banks of some pool. Cliffs overlooking navigable waterways aren’t safe either.
  • Broom, as in the plant, should be given a wide berth.
    Stay away from the greenwood side, too.
  • Avoid situations where the obvious rhyme-word is “maidenhead.”
  • If you look at the calendar and discover it’s May, stay home.
  • The flowing bowl is best quaffed at home. Don’t drink with strangers. Don’t drink alone. Don’t toss the cups or pass the jar about in bars where you haven’t arranged to keep a tab. Drinks of unusual or uncertain provenance should be viewed askance, especially if you’re offered them by charming members of the opposite sex. Finally, never get drunk and pass out in a bar called the “Cape Horn.”
  • Members of press gangs seldom tell the truth. Recruiting sergeants will fib to you shamelessly. They are not your friends, even if they’re buying the drinks. Especially when they’re buying the drinks.
  • If you’re drinking toasts, mention your One True Love early and often.
  • If you’re a young lady, dressing yourself in men’s array and joining the army or the navy has all sorts of comic possibilities, but you yourself aren’t going to find it too darned humorous at the time.
  • If you are an unmarried lady and have sex, you will get pregnant. No good will come of it. If you are physically unable to get pregnant due to being male, the girl you had sex with will get pregnant. No good will come of it. You’ll either kill her, or she’ll kill herself, or her husband/brother/father/uncle/cousin will kill you both. In any case her Doleful Ghost will make sure everyone finds out. You will either get hanged, kill yourself, or be carried off bodily by Satan. Your last words will begin “Come all ye.”
  • Going to sea to avoid marrying your sweetie is an option, but if she hangs herself after your departure (and it’s even money that she’s going to) her Doleful Ghost will arrive on board your ship and the last three stanzas of your life will purely suck.
  • If you are a young gentleman who had sex it is possible the girl won’t get pregnant. In those rare instances you will either get Saint Cynthia’s Fire or the Great Pox instead. No good will have come of it.
  • New York Girls, like Liverpool Judies, like the ladies of Limehouse, Yarmouth, Portsmouth, Gosport, and/or Baltimore, know how to show sailors a good time, if by “good time” you mean losing all your money, your clothes, and your dignity. Note: All of these places are near navigable waterways. In practical terms this means that if you’re a sailor you’re screwed (and so are any young ladies you happen to meet). See also: Great Pox; Doleful Ghost.
  • If you are a young lady do not allow young men into your garden. Or let them steal your thyme. Or agree to handle their ramrods while they’re hunting the bonny brown hare. Cuckoo’s nests are right out. And never stand sae the back o’ yer dress is up agin the wa’ (for if ye do ye may safely say yer thing-a-ma-jig’s awa’).
  • Never let a stranger teach you a new game. No good will come of it.
  • Sharing a boyfriend with your sister is a bad plan.
  • Having more than one True Love at a time is a non-starter.
  • If you’re a brunette, give up. Not that being a blonde will improve the odds much.
  • If your name is Janet, change it.
  • If you are a young lady and an amorous soldier, sailor, ploughboy, blacksmith, cavalry officer, or other young man fails to stop the first time you tell him he’s being too bold, knock off the maidenly protests and take more direct measures. If saying “no” the first time didn’t stop him, you’ve no reason to believe that twice will work any better.
  • Professions to be particularly wary of: clerks, salty sailors, serving maids, blacksmiths, highwaymen, gamblers, rank robbers, stonemasons, soldiers, tinkers, and millers. Anyone described as “jolly,” “bold,” or “saucy.” Supernatural creatures are best avoided. If they can’t be avoided, they should be addressed respectfully. If a supernatural creature sets you a task you’re well and truly screwed.
  • If you are a young lady and a soldier promises to “marry you in the morn,” it means he’s already married. And has kids. And he’s not going to marry you anyway. Even if you’re pregnant. Which you will be.
  • If you’re a young unmarried lady with child, and your pregnancy embarrasses or inconveniences someone else, consider yourself a sitting duck. Don’t meet with your young gentleman alone, or at odd hours, or in isolated locations, even if he says he’s taking you to be married. Next thing you know your Doleful Ghost will be telling your mother all about it. While he may say “Come all ye….” in the last stanza or two this will be small comfort.
    Young ladies who feel uneasy should always act on their feelings. If in your good opinion you fear some young man (however handsome, rich, and well-spoken) is some rake, depend upon it: He’s a rake. Rakes will protest that you have them all wrong. They’ll be fibbing. Never go anywhere with a rake, particularly to isolated spots. See above: Doleful Ghost.
  • If you are a young lady and someone arrives to tell you that your boyfriend was slain on a foreign battlefield, take it with a grain of salt. Especially if you’re carrying a broken token.
    If a former significant other turns up unexpectedly after a long absence, don’t throw yourself into his/her arms right away.
  • That goes double if they refuse to eat anything.
  • Triple if they turn up at night and want you to leave with them immediately.
  • Have nothing to do with former boyfriends who turn up and say it’s no big deal that you’re now married to someone else and have a child. If their intentions are legit, that’s got to be a problem. If it’s not a problem, their intentions are not legit.
  • You are justified in cherishing the direst suspicions of a suddenly and unexpectedly returned significant other who mentions a long journey, a far shore, or a narrow bed, or who’s oddly skittish about the imminent arrival of cockcrow.
  • If you are a young lady and you meet a young man who says his name is “Ramble Away,” don’t be surprised if, by the time you know you’re pregnant, it turns out he’s moved and left no forwarding address.
  • A fellow who’s a massively accomplished flirt hasn’t been spending his time sitting around waiting for his One True Love to come along. Furthermore, odds are poor that you’ll turn out to be his One True Love who will reform him.
  • If you arrange an assignation with your new sweetie, a little foot page will be listening in and will carry the news to exactly the last person you’d want to hear the story.
  • If your girlfriend insists that you go back to sleep after some odd sound woke you, it’s time to dive out the window and run for the hills right then.
  • If you’re hiding in the hills, don’t inform anyone exactly where you’re sleeping, particularly not an attractive member of the opposite sex.
  • If your girlfriend serves eels in eel broo, make sure you see her eat some first.
  • Informing your current significant other that you’re about to be wed to someone else is … risky. Even if you’re doing it as a joke, or to test their love. Especially if you’re doing it as a joke or to test their love. Testing someone’s love in general isn’t too bright.
  • Not even sending a talking goshawk to tell your significant other that the engagement is off will help you. You’re going to find yourself at the bottom of a well full fifty fathoms deep. A Doleful Ghost may get involved.
  • If, after you inform your current significant other that you’re to be wed to someone else, he or she suggests that the two of you meet in some lonely spot for one last fling, do not go.
    Inviting your old flame to your wedding is a bad idea.
  • If your old flame invites you to his/her wedding, leave town.
  • If your old flame shows up uninvited at your wedding, start eyeing the exits. There’s a chance he/she is a Doleful Ghost. Be that as it may, no good will come of it.
  • If you’re out hunting, make sure of your sight picture before you pull the trigger/loose your bow. Especially so if you’re near a navigable waterway or the greenwoodside.
  • Do not allow the words “I wish” to pass your lips.
  • Avoid oaths, particularly when you’re near navigable waterways or the greenwoodside.
  • If the jailer indicates his willingness to take your gay gold ring to carry a message to your sweetheart, see if he’ll take that same gay gold ring to leave the door open and look the other way for five minutes while you or the sweetheart (as appropriate) escape.
  • Always use the buddy system. “Bare is brotherless back,” as Grettir the Strong put it; and if Grettir was worried about going places alone, you’d better worry too. So bring a friend with you. Friends keep bad things from happening. If things go badly anyway, you’ll need their help. And if things go well (hey, it could happen), it’ll be nice to have a friend along to share the laughs.

Now, take some time to visit Jim MacDonald’s blog to see the 400+ comments, ballad lyrics, and hilarious Celtic humor, along with some serious ballad links if you are so inclined. As you know: Nothing good will come of it but you never know. You really don’t. Hey, come on?!!??? You’re not that cynical and dour, are ye?

St. Patrick’s Day Moves

Reading The Landscape

Irish Gaelic Gains Official European Union Status

The History of St. Patrick’s Day

Official St. Patrick’s Day 2008

Great Irish Website

Irish Folk Culture

Wolftones Ballad Group

Written by smalltalkwitht

March 16, 2008 at 8:51 pm

UPDATE: Who’s Watching The Vatican? Thou Shalt Not Call The Kettle Black

leave a comment »

UPDATE: Now the Vatican is denying that it had seven new sins. including paedophilia, pollution, being too rich, and cloning. The conference maintained that it was the opinion of Bishop Gianfranco Girotti not the Vatican and was misinterpreted by the media. Don’t church officials have to get permission before speaking to the media?

Reports that the Vatican has published a new list of the seven deadly sins of modern times that includes littering and economic inequality is simply not true, affirmed the episcopal conference of England and Wales. The conference released a statement today clarifying that an interview published Sunday by L’Osservatore Romano with Bishop Gianfranco Girotti, regent of the tribunal of he Apostolic Penitentiary, was misinterpreted in the media as an official Vatican update to the seven deadly sins, laid out by Pope Gregory the Great in the sixth century.”

The Vatican has not published a new list of seven deadly sins; this is not a new Vatican edict,” said the conference. “

The story originated from an interview that Bishop Gianfranco Girotti gave to the L’Osservatore Romano in which he was questioned about new forms of social sins in this age of globalization.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In a move to modernize the ten commandments, Monsignor Gianfranco Girotti has given his opinion on the new sins. Now what possibly could be a sin these days?

You got it: Capitalism, Free Enterprise, and the infamous Inconvenient Truth: Pollution. The ivory tower church official stated, let me paraphrase: “Its’ a sin for the pot to call the kettle black” when asked about the church’s own scandalous sins, referring to the media’s attack on the Catholic Church’s as discrediting it. I’m sorry but the Church did that to themselves, not the media. There were many sins committed in the paedophilia cases by many church officials.

Also receiving fresh attention by the Vatican was social injustice, along the lines of the age-old maxim: “The rich get richer while the poor get poorer.”

It couldn’t be because socialism and welfare are bad for people? Although not biblical scripture, it’s an intrinsic truth that “God helps those who help themselves.”

In the Vatican’s latest update on how God’s law is being violated in today’s world, Monsignor Gianfranco Girotti, the head of the Apostolic Penitentiary, was asked by the Vatican newspaper L’Osservatore Romano what, in his opinion, are the “new sins.”

He cited “violations of the basic rights of human nature” through genetic manipulation, drugs that “weaken the mind and cloud intelligence,” and the imbalance between the rich and the poor.

“If yesterday sin had a rather individualistic dimension, today it has a weight, a resonance, that’s especially social, rather than individual,” said Girotti, whose office deals with matters of conscience and grants absolution.

So, it’s not the Devil made me do it, it’s blame everybody for the sins of one. Where is the common sense of Aesop’s Fables of the ant and grasshopper when you need it?

It’s not the first time that the Vatican has sought to put a modern spin on sin. Last year, the Vatican took on the problem of highway accidents, issuing a kind of “Ten Commandments” for drivers against the sins of road rage, alcohol abuse and even rudeness behind the wheel.

I would love to see a poll of priests saying that road rage and rudeness behind the wheel have taken over the top spots on the confessional list. I doubt it.

Vatican officials, however, stressed that Girotti’s comments broke no new ground on what constitutes sin.

On the environment, both Pope Benedict XVI and the late Pope John Paul II frequently expressed concern about the fate of the Earth. During Benedict’s papacy, Vatican engineers have developed plans for some Holy See buildings to use solar energy, including photovoltaic cells on the roof of the auditorium for pilgrims’ audiences with the pontiff.

While it’s good to see the Church upgrade it’s technology to derive financial benefit from solar energy, Environmentalism has become sanctified. It is the new religion of liberals.

John Paul also dedicated much of his long papacy to condemning the gap between have and have-nots in speeches in his travels throughout the world as well as in writings.

“The poor are always becoming poorer and the rich ever more rich, feeding unsustainable social injustice,” Girotti said in the interview published Sunday.

Jesus said the poor will always be with us, here as well. I would like to see the Church living more humbly and less palatial, giving us the example we need to be more Christ-like. It’s easy to say “You do it.”

Closer to home, Girotti was asked about the many “situations of scandal and sin within the church,” in what appeared to be a reference to allegations in the United States and other countries of sexual abuse by clergy of minors and the coverups by hierarchy.

The monsignor acknowledged the “objective gravity” of the allegations, but contended that the heavy coverage by mass media of the scandals must also be denounced because it “discredits the church.”

The response to the paedophilia turpitude question was incredulous! Is this official saying that the media is sinful as well in trying to discredit the Catholic Church because the Church tried to hide its sins? But that’s exactly what the Catholic Church did – and tried to pay its way out of its own crimes.

Benedict has been leading the Vatican’s campaign against abortion, and Girotti was asked about the “widespread perception” that the church doesn’t consider the “difficult” predicament for women.

Girotti rejected that view, saying that Catholic organizations help unwed mothers, educating “their children who come into the worth because of their lack of foresight” and facilitating adoption.

If the Church was truly serious in modernizing sins, rather than giving us “hip” service, it would declare that giving birth was worthy of receiving sacramental grace. Women would have higher respect for being co-creators of life, equal with men in their ability to have seven sacraments in which to obtain grace, and maybe young girls would have more respect for themselves and young boys would know the impact of staying virginal and keep themselves for marriage.

That would bring the Church and the issue of modern day sins into the 21st century – not choosing cafeteria solutions to modern day interpretation of mankind’s sins.

Written by smalltalkwitht

March 12, 2008 at 11:05 pm

UPDATE – Witty Zoo & Tiglet Too

leave a comment »

UPDATE: I posted this awwwww-inspiring post in 2006. Well, it turns out that this story wasn’t the whole hog. Urban Legends.About.com has the facts.

Comments: The photos above are genuine, but there is more to this story than meets the eye.

To begin with, the snapshots were taken at the Sriracha Tiger Zoo in Chonburi, Thailand (near Bangkok), not some nameless zoo in California. Moreover, it would appear that the sad tale of the tigress falling into a deep depression after losing a litter of cubs was fabricated, as was the claim that the piglets were substituted for the deceased cubs by zookeepers in order to console the “mourning mother.”

As it happens, this sort of intermingling of species is not at all unusual at the Sriracha Tiger Zoo, where “creating successful relationships with animals of different species” is something of a guiding principle. The facility, more accurately described as part zoo and part circus, boasts offbeat attractions like basketball-playing elephants, “lady crocodile wrestlers,” and a petting zoo where customers can bottle-feed baby tigers with their own bare hands. Visitors have reported seeing tigers, pigs, and dogs all housed together within the same enclosure, with sows nursing tiger cubs and tigresses nursing piglets “adorned in tiger-print costumes.”

The costumes are strictly for show, by the way. The mother tiger pictured above, who has been photographed on other occasions suckling piglets au naturel, was herself nursed by a pig in infancy and apparently regards the other species as family, not prey.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We all know the heart felt loss when a mother loses their baby shortly after birth. It seems that animals go through the same depression when they experience a death of their litter.
This tiger was overwrought and sinking into deep depression after losing premature triplets, when the zoo came up with the idea to put little piglets in her cage to nurse. The tiger mother took to them completely since she too was nursed by a pig as a cub.

She came out of her depression and is doing fine. The piglets don’t have to wear those tiger pj’s for Momma tiger to love them. She takes care of the cubs as if they were her own fur and blood.

Okay, I’m not going to make any horrible references to delicious pigs in a blanket.

Written by smalltalkwitht

March 12, 2008 at 10:45 am