Sma' Talk Wi' T

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Archive for May 2009

Top Twelve Indicators Economy Is Bad

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Received this humourous list in the mail this morning from Lou, the Banana Man, a conservative Californian. Yes, Virginia, they do exist.

The top twelve indicators that the economy is bad:

12. CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.

11. I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

10. I went to buy a toaster oven and they gave me a bank.

9. Hotwheels and Matchbox car companies are now trading higher than GM in the stock market.

8. Nobama met with small businesses – GE, Pfizer, Chrysler, Citigroup and GM, to discuss the Stimulus Package.

7. McDonalds is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

6 People in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and are learning their children’s names.

5. The most highly-paid job is now jury duty.

4. People in Africa are donating money to Americans. Mothers in Ethiopia are telling their kids, “finish your plate; do you know how many kids are starving in America ?”

3. Motel Six won’t leave the lights on.

2. The Mafia is laying off judges.

And my most favorite indicator of all.

1. If the bank returns your check marked as “insufficient funds,” you have to call them and ask if they meant you or them.

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Written by smalltalkwitht

May 30, 2009 at 9:53 am

Posted in California, economy, Humor

Classic Twiterature

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The Sun is providing a few twitbits into Tom Collins’ new book, “The Little Book of Twitter.” Synopses of all the great books in literature like The Canterbury Tales and some not so great books like Bridget Jones’ Diary are condensed down to Twitter’s frustrating 140 characters. Here are some of my favs:

  • HAMLET- williamshakespeare Danish guy’s mum marries his murdered father’s brother. He sees his dad’s ghost. Everyone dies. Fail.
  • GREAT EXPECTATIONS -charlesdickens Orphan given £££ by secret follower. He thinks it’s @misshavisham but it turns out to be @magwitch.
  • THE GREAT GATSBY-fscottfitzgerald Jay Gatsby Daisy Buchanan. Makes $$$ throws parties and looks at green light. They get together. Gatsby and American dream die.
    THE DA VINCI CODE-danbrown Professor of symbology tries to solve a murder by following clues around touristy locations in Europe. Very few paragraphs are longer than tweets.
  • BRIDGET JONES’S DIARY -helenfielding Woman meets man called Darcy who seems horrible. He turns out to be nice really. They get together.
  • WUTHERING HEIGHTS-emilybronte: Catherine Earnshaw marries Edgar Linton but really loves Heathcliff *sigh*.
  • THE BIBLE -god I created the universe, sent my carpenter son to earth, you killed him, but he’s coming back soon. I’ve got 2 billion followers 😉
  • THE CANTERBURY TALES-geoffreychaucer Pilgrims tell each other stories while walking from London to Canterbury. Includes f*rt jokes. LOL!
  • ULYSSES-jamesjoyce Man walks around Dublin. We follow every minute detail of his day. He’s probably overtweeting.
    • Want to know what to read when you’re not reading other tweeps? “Little Book of Twitter” is the book to get. It’s all the classics – short and tweet.

      Twip of the hat to PutrPrsn

      Written by smalltalkwitht

      May 26, 2009 at 8:46 am

      This Memorial Day

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      Deep gratitude, tremendous pride, and eternal thanks to all the military veterans living, and to the patriots and soldiers who gave their lives for our great country’s freedoms. To all the current troops here and around the world fighting, God keep you safe and bring you home soon.

      Previous Sma’ Talk Wi’ T posts on Memorial Day.

      Written by smalltalkwitht

      May 24, 2009 at 11:18 pm

      Egeria’s Travelogue

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      Father Augustine’s sermons are always rejuvenating. It never fails that I always learn from his insight and historical references. It’s like sitting in a compelling Biblical theology class on Sundays. Today, Father spoke on Egeria’s travelogue (page 2) which he studied while at Oxford. I’m sure the majority of priests have already heard of Egeria… but I hadn’t. She sounds like quite a character and she’s spoken of in correlation with the Feast of The Ascension. This well-traveled and exuberant pilgrim (c. A.D. 381-384) is cited as Egeria/Etheria/Aetheria depending on who is writing. Her daily journals were the first translations to describe the early Church’s liturgical worship and creation of feast days like Christmas and Ascension Thursday.

      Here is Egeria’s travelogue. Another translation

      Holy Sepulchre Article has pictures from the Church of the Ascension.

      Women Pilgrims: Egeria

      Finally this is the Wikipedia detail on Egeria that I find fascinating. (And yes, I know Wikipedia isn’t a reliable source for citation but it’s a good place to start.)

      Egeria’s record of her travels to the Holy Land also provides a late 4th century account of liturgical worship in Palestine. The liturgical year was in its incipient stages at the time of her visit. This is invaluable because the development of liturgical worship (e.g. Lent, palm or passion Sunday) reached universal practice in the 4th century. Egeria provides a first hand account of practices and implementation of liturgical seasons as they existed at the time of her visit. This snapshot is before universal acceptance of a December 25th celebration of the nativity of Jesus; this is very early and very helpful in cataloging the development of annual liturgical worship.

      Reference: Connell, Martin (2007). Eternity Today: On the Liturgical Year. New York: Continuum Publishing. pp. 16–18. ISBN 9780826418715.

      To learn more about the 4th Century Church and Egeria’s sightseeing pilgrimages, I have ordered the following book. Looks like a good read for my summertime pilgrimage – I’ll let you know. Wandering Monks, Virgins, and Pilgrims, Ascetic Travels in the Mediterranean World, A.D. 300 – 800

      Written by smalltalkwitht

      May 24, 2009 at 10:18 pm

      Telegraph Sends The Right Message

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      I couldn’t be there today nor could I listen to it on television but reading it, I felt like I was right there! I’m speaking of the excellent analysis of the NØbama-Cheney fight in DC today by Toby Harnden, Telegraph US editor. Some of Harnden’s key points were:

      • “…the very fact that Obama chose to schedule his speech (Cheney’s was announced first) at exactly the same time as the former veep was a sign of some weakness.”
      • “The venues for the speeches said something. Obama showily chose the National Archives, repository for many of the founding documents of the US, and spoke in front of a copy of the Constitution – cloaking himself in the flag, as Republicans were often criticised for doing.”
      • “The former veep’s speech was factual and unemotional and certainly devoid of the kind of hokey, self-obsessed, campaign-style stuff like this, from Obama’s address today: “I stand here today as someone whose own life was made possible by these documents. My father came to these shores in search of the promise that they offer. My mother made me rise before dawn to learn their truths when I lived as a child in a foreign land.”
      • “As Cheney said this, sarcasm dripped from his lips. Obviously “fine speechmaking” but no real substance is not a new charge against Obama and it hits home. And Cheney successfully mades the point that much of the rhetoric from the Left tends to suggest that if only the US did not waterboard people, if only the US was viewed as Obama rather than Bush, Venus rather than Mars then it would be universally loved and al-Qaeda would wither away. Unfortunately, that’s not the real world.”

      Read Harnden’s entire column counting down the ten knock-out punches by Cheney delivered to the Messiah. NØbama is weak. It’s must read for all conservatives especially for those of us who were working to pay off NØbama’s 4 trillion dollar debt and couldn’t watch Cheney. Keep on talking, Mr. Cheney!

      Full text of Cheney’s Anti-Obama speech.

      Written by smalltalkwitht

      May 21, 2009 at 9:39 pm

      British Empire Sun Shines No More

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      At one time in history, the sun never set on the British Empire. There was a time that Great Britain would never bow in fear. Sadly, Winston Churchill, the great British Prime Minster who proudly intoned: “We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.”

      Churchill must be turning over in his Westminster Abbey’s grave because today, the UK has all but surrendered. The British sun has set – its’ light has been dhimmed. Or I should say dhimmified. Daniel Pipes, an Islamic expert who has been called a prophet, speaks up about the next country to have Islam culture rammed down their throats: Great Britain.

      Pipes writes about BMI, the British Midlands Airlines. BMI has succumbed to pressure by Muslims in anti-Semitic business practices, including firing of employees for not kow-towing to Islamic culture and displaying maps that inaccurately wipe Israel off the maps.

      It [BMI] fired Lisa Ashton, 37, a stewardess, in April 2008 because she refused two directives concerning her time in Saudi Arabia: in public areas there she must wear the abaya, the black robe that covers everything but the face, feet, and hands; and she must follow behind her male colleagues. When Ashton turned down flights to Saudi Arabia, claiming discrimination, BMI dismissed her. Ashton brought suit against BMI. Describing her case, she said that “It’s not the law that you have to walk behind men in Saudi Arabia, or that you have to wear an abaya, and I’m not going to be treated as a second-class citizen. It’s outrageous. I’m a proud Englishwoman and I don’t want these restrictions placed on myself.” Ashton lost the first round when an employment tribunal ruled that BMI was justified in imposing “rules of a different culture” on its staff and cleared the company of sexual discrimination. Ashton may seek a judicial review of the decision.

      Its [BMI] digital maps on the airlines’ twice daily flights from London’s Heathrow Airport to Tel Aviv’s Ben-Gurion Airport, the kind that passengers watch while on the plane, marking the flight’s progress, did not show Israel. Mel Bezalel explains in the Jerusalem Post: “Instead of viewing Tel Aviv or other Israeli cities signposted on screens, customers flying on two BMI-owned Airbus A320 airplanes have instead been exclusively shown Haifa, spelled ‘Khefa’ – the Arab name of the city before 1948.” BMI apologized and proffered an excuse: namely, that the digital maps were inherited when BMI bought British Mediterranean Airways (BMED) in 2007. BMED flew primarily to the Middle East and tailored its maps to the many Muslim passengers on its flights. BMI spokesman Phil Shepherd said that the “old maps” were due to be deactivated and new maps, which do mention Israel and Tel Aviv, will appear on screens in two weeks.

      The digital map on BMI writes Haifa as “Khefa” and does not name Israel.

      BMI isn’t better for business. Its’ only interests seem to be keeping the Middle East pacified with anti-Semitic management practices and lies.

      If you have not heard of Daniel Pipes or receive his daily updates, please click here. You’ll be able to read the most current articles and posts on Muslim terrorism.

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      Written by smalltalkwitht

      May 21, 2009 at 5:36 pm

      Obama Man

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      H/T and a lollipop to KimQuilts2

      Written by smalltalkwitht

      May 20, 2009 at 9:18 pm